This isn't the way I wanted to end!
"Remember that there is power in you being nostalgic" -Harsh
First things first, I hope that you are staying at home and staying healthy. This quarantine has made me realize so many things, like how important our lives are, how to value things we have today, how important are the people with whom we have spent time with and how important those memories are. All these things revolve around me when I'm alone and this quarantine is helping me to stay with myself and examine my own thoughts.
One night when as I was listening to some of the slow songs on my phone while sleeping, suddenly from nowhere I started to miss the days I have spent with my people, the fun things we used to do, the emotions of excitement we had, the nervousness we felt while presenting our college presentations in front of the crowded class and how that nervousness went down as we saw some other person who is more nervous than us . That’s when our super ability would come in to motivate them or make them more nervous and make that experience memorable.
And then the realization hit, that this is the last semester of my life as this is the last year of my education. This is probably the last year where I will see all my college friends together. It made me feel that this is life and this is what life is teaching us all, that we have to live all those moments because we never know what the new day will bring onto us. It reminds us to live every moment because we don't know this time, which you are living right now, will ever come again, which includes all the time that we are getting to spend with our family.
Right now the value of what we had before in our life has increased like spending time with everyone, your friends, your colleague at your workplace, the time spend rusting your body at work, the wonderful time you spent roaming anywhere by bunking lectures, the time spent with friends standing in a useless queue in your college, the okay-ish food at the canteen, the rush in trains, the traffic on road and the different noises on the road, everything which you didn’t appreciate or hated are those things which you miss now because you know the value of all those things now.
With this, I had a question in my head, “Is this the way I wanted my college life to end?” Because usually after college most of us enter into the ‘being an adult’ phase of our lives. So, after all these kinds of questions swam around in my head, the wishes start emerging, like I wish to have ended things in good terms with everyone by resolving matters. Just like many who wish they could have said those things to that person, personally I wish on the last day of my education I could click a mega photo with all the people in one frame, no matter if I know them or not, no matter if I have had a fight with anyone and if there would be a gathering at the college on our last day, I would have asked someone to give that stage for last time because I want to make everyone feel how grateful I am to have them in my life.
Let me tell you why this question came into my mind. There was a time where I felt that life isn't doing good with me. This was during the transition period from shorts to a full-pant uniform also known as the 8th grade for most of us. I would score average in the earlier grades so I had decided to score better that year. Unfortunately, I fell sick with jaundice and couldn't give my final exams and got automatically promoted to next grade. I didn’t lose hope and tried my best in the 9th grade but I faced the same situation again and fell sick with chickenpox this time. So like you all would have guessed, I couldn't give my final exams. And now again after 8 years we are in a similar situation, but this time I didn't fall sick (touch wood), this time whole world started to fall sick with corona virus which made me think 'This isn't the way I wanted to end' yet again.
Till now I have talked about in terms of education but along with that, the same question comes in mind when I think about all the people that I haven't been in touch with or have stopped talking to. Should I have talked with them and cleared out all the issues between us? Yes, it didn't feel good when things got worse and issues arose, but with that it is also okay to stop talking with someone if it helps you keep your mental health in check. Because mental health is important and things should end in a happy note for both the parties involved.
There are times where you will feel that things shouldn't have ended the way they did, but it will also increase the value of every time you meet your loved ones, every moment, every second of your life. This quarantine has taught us that even the immediate future is uncertain, so live your life in the present and don't take life so seriously or else you will forget to live your life with smile and laughter. I hope that my experiences which I have shared above touch your heart and soul. I hope you stay safe and stay healthy. Everything will be fine soon, people will be up and back to their normal lives, people will learn to value this beautiful nature of mother earth, people will love the rush in the train, traffic on the road, going for work rather than doing working from home. See you in the next blog by remembering the people who didn't want to end their life like this, sending love to their family and people who are putting their efforts to save this beautiful mother earth.